The Last Month, Day 12: Are We There Yet?

It was a jam-packed and busy day. We took the kids to Mass this morning, and then came home and had lunch. My sister called and wanted to meet at the 337 Project, so we piled back into the car, kids and all, and went back downtown. It was amazing--I maxed out the memory card on my camera (more on that tomorrow). It's only open this weekend and next, from noon to 8:00 pm. And then the whole building will be demolished. If you're in Salt Lake City, see it.

After that, we went to the library to get books, and then to the Living Traditions Festival to eat dinner while listening to the Salt Lake Scots play their gold medal pipes and drums. We ran into lots of friends and got totally exhausted, and then we finally came home.

It was then I realized that I hadn't felt baby J kick in an hour and a half and I started panicking so I lay down and tried to get him to move. After another half an hour, I called my midwife group's answering service and they paged the midwife on call, who called me back and said that I should eat something to spike my blood sugar and lie down. If that didn't do the trick, I should go in to Labor and Delivery for a non-stress test to check the baby's vitals. N microwaved three baby potatoes and I ate them lying down, and about ten minutes later the kid started kicking.

I remember this from the first three pregnancies--fear because I can't control what's happening to my baby and if something's wrong, I won't know until it's too late. He could wrapping his neck with his umbilical cord right now! But after the baby is born, there is more fear that something else will happen: SIDS, choking on mucus, a car accident, whatever. And then I always wish that the baby was still in utero, where at least he's protected from strange germs and rough bumps and cold drafts. He's right next to my heart but my hands are still free for knitting. The grass is always greener, as they say. Still, I can't wait to see his little face and know that he's okay.