Monday, January 23, 2006
On "On a Thimble".
I didn't really define what I meant by "Cool Mormon" in "On a Thimble", and I got a comment calling me out on this, so I'll clarify. I'm not using that term to designate a Mormon who swears or tells dirty jokes or watches R-rated movies, although I can see how someone could think that was what I was saying. I'm talking about Mormons who aren't threatened by my apostate status, who aren't afraid to let their children play with mine because mine don't go to their church, who don't judge me and others based on the fact that I'm no longer One of Them. All these things have happened. I used to live in a ward in Provo where boys in the ward passed the sacrament the day after they had severely beaten my sister's friends at Provo High for being "punk lesbians" (one girl was hugging another at a dance because she was crying). And their parents KNEW about it. The boys were almost congratulated for what they did. That's the attitude I'm used to being around. Now I'm ranting. The point I was trying to make was that all preconceived notions about people need to be constantly questioned. I was being as judgemental as those who judged me, and I realized that. The Cool Mormons were the ones who didn't care what church I went to. These people only cared about having a good conversation over dinner. And they were okay with my husband drinking a beer even though his name is Nephi. All this surprised me and challenged my expectations. There are all kinds of people in every church and organization and I know this. It's just that past experiences speak loudly to the present and color one's judgement for better or worse. I'm done ranting now. Thanks for listening.
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5 comments:
I feel rather foolish about my previous comment, now. All I can say is people are people. Labels don't mean a thing, stereotypes are useless, and what really matters is character.
I'm sorry about earlier.
Oh Kit, don't be sorry. I don't mean to attack what you said. You were right. Sorry I didn't make that more clear too. We'll have to talk next S'n'B.
Yikes.
"That's the attitude I'm used to being around."
I'm sorry to hear that.
My knee jerk reaction to your post, being a fifth generation Californian, was initially,
"Yeah... um... that's just the kind of thing that makes Californian's hesitant to visit other states!"
...but then I thought about my prom.
My date was gay. I didn't have a boyfriend and school policy forbid him from bringing his boyfriend - so we went together.
School policy mandated that I wear a dress - and I did, but, because I didn't like being told what to wear, and found the specification irritating - I wore a red tie too.
I danced with my date and danced with my girl *friends* as well.
A locally infamous born-again Christian girl was outraged. She said my "display of homosexuality (?!) Ruined her prom experience."
Every time I think of it I want to laugh... somewhat uncomfortably.
A) A tie does not a homosexual make, and B) I really don't see how any of it had anything to do with her enough to have any impact on her prom experience at all.
I didn't get beaten for being a "punk lesbian" - but ignorant attitudes aren't restricted by state lines either.
I was quick to judge Mormons and the whole state of Utah myself - never an intelligent or compassionate move. Like you said, "There are all kinds of people in every church and organization," and state of the union - and, deep inside, I know this too.
Thanks for the reminder.
I really appreciated, and learned a lot, from reading your last few posts on the subject - it's a good one to talk about I think, so thank you for starting the dialog.
~ Suzanne "The Frog"
You should see the flak Godstar is getting on Myspace. Someone told us that we would be punished by the divine for messing with powers we could not possibly understand. All this because of a little Mormon kitsch.
YAY! High fives for apostates! ;)
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